Light Up The Sky
by GregRox
Summary: Peyton angst. Post 5x18. Possible Season 6 spoilers.


**Disclaimer: Don't own One Tree Hill. If I did Lindsey wouldn't have happened.**

_You're making choice to live like this,_  
_And all of the noise,  
I am silence.  
We already know how it ends tonight,  
You run in the dark through a firefight.  
And I would explode just to save your life,  
Yeah I would explode_.

People always leave. It was the only consistent thing in Peyton Sawyer's life.

Everyone had left. Her mom, Jake, Ellie, her dad… and now Lucas. The one person who had promised never to leave. But he did anyway. Who would be next? Nathan and Haley? Brooke?

People in her life never stuck around for very long. They died or they left on purpose. And everyone who said they would stay, they would be there left too.

_Let me light up the sky,  
Light it up for you.  
Let me tell you why,  
I would die for you.  
Let me light up the sky.  
_

Hearing Lucas say I do had been like a slap across the face. And now watching him fight for Lindsey was like another slap. He hadn't fought for her. He'd just left while she was sleeping. Never even said good bye.

He had fought for Brooke too. Everyone but her. So what did that make Peyton? A mistake? A distraction? Or just some thing to be used and then thrown away when it stopped cooperating?

_  
I can't find a wall to pin this to,  
Their all coming down since I've found you.  
I just wanna be where you are tonight.  
I run in the dark looking for some light,  
And how will we know if we just don't try,  
We won't ever know.  
_

Whatever she had been to Lucas it didn't matter. He had made it quite obvious that he wanted nothing to do with her. He'd said he hated her.

And that hurt more than him saying he loved Lindsey. Because he didn't even see her as a friend. As someone he loved… or could love again. No he hated her.

_  
Let me light up the sky,  
Light it up for you._

_Let me tell you why,  
I would die for you.  
_

He had stayed friends with Brooke even after their nasty break up. And he was fighting for Lindsay after she left him at the altar. But her.. Peyton Sawyer, the girl who had said some day.. He hated her.

It was enough to make Peyton wonder why she was even still in Tree Hill.

What did she left here?

_  
Let me light up the sky,  
Light it up for you.  
Let me make this mine,  
I'll ignite for you._Her label… that was run out of an office Lucas had rented to her.

Her friends… Brooke had her company and Nathan and Haley had their careers and their family.

Her house… wasn't even her house. It was Brooke's.

_Let me light up the sky,  
Just for you tonight.  
Let me help you fly,  
Cause you won't have time.  
Cover your eyes,  
Get your disguise,  
They won't ask you why,  
They just watch you die.  
_

So why was Peyton still in Tree Hill?

Because it was home? It didn't feel like home. It full of bad memories and people that hated her or didn't need her.

And why had she even come back? For Lucas? The man who had asked another woman to marry him after Peyton told him she loved him and then tell Peyton he hated her after he was left by Lindsey at the altar.

_  
And it's still so hard to be who you are,  
So you play this part,  
The show goes on.  
You've come this far with a broken heart,  
Yeah you've come this far,  
And you've broken.  
_

LA had never felt like home in the four years she'd been there but right now… Right now it felt like more of a home than Tree Hill.

She never should have left LA. If she hadn't everyone else would still be happy. And she… she wouldn't be happy but she wouldn't be as unhappy as she was right now.

Or maybe… maybe leaving LA wasn't the problem. Maybe leaving Tree Hill in the first place was.

_  
Let me light up the sky,  
Light it up for you.  
Let me tell you why,  
I would die for you.  
Let me light up the sky,  
Light it up for you.  
Let me make this mine,  
I'll ignite for you,  
I'll ignite for you.  
_

By moving to LA all Peyton had gained was a crappy job at a big record label. Assistant to the assistant. And she'd been far away from Lucas.

Very far away. Across the country. If she hadn't gone maybe it would've been her standing at that altar in the church. Not Lindsey.

Or maybe things would have turned out the same. Maybe no matter what Peyton did she was destined to be unhappy.

_  
Let me light up the sky,  
Light it up for you.  
Let me tell you why,  
I would die for you.  
_

And what's the point of being alive when you'll always be unhappy? To watch the people around you be happy? Get married and start families and have successful careers while she… She didn't.

And then they would all leave to. Brooke and Haley and Nathan. They would gradually cut her out of their lives because she was making their lives less than perfect.

_  
And it's still so hard to be who you are,  
But you've come this far with a broken heart.  
And it's still so hard to be who you are,  
But you've come this far with a broken...  
_

And just as she was wondering who would miss her when she was gone… her phone rang. And the caller ID said…

Lucas.

_Let me light up the sky,  
Let me light up the sky._

**A/N: The song is Light up The Sky by Yellowcard. It was in the season five premiere I believe. Anyway please please review!**


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